when it doesnt matter...

it is so weird
when you get to the point
where you know
that something
that was
really
a big
matter
doesnt
really
matter.

one part of you knows
recognizes
hey
isnt this
something that you
always
felt
so much
for
and
it
mattered
so

but then
the other part
the new part
grown
wise
accepts
that we have grown
and those feelings
do not
need
to be pulled
out
once more
because
the hole
is filled
there is
no void.
serenity.

i realize
that i
never looked
to the future
jealous
of age
rather
i lived
today
in the
age
and
mind
of my body
and
i experienced
my moment
my day
my life.

now
i sit
and wonder
how do i deal
with the fact
that i recognize
these feelings
and remember
the feeling
yet
know that
they are not
feelings
i care
to have.

personal conflicts
and conflicts of interest
it makes sense
to me
i hope
it made sense to me.
stupid mpre.

so i will
not see
her
when
all of them
will
but
to me
i will be
where i need to be
and if
that means
seeing
her
than
so be it
either way
ill
know
that i
can live
without
those
feelings.
sorry
those
who cant.
but just remember
it doesnt
matter.